THE ELITE WIFE BECOMING JOURNAL LAUNCHING SOON!

DON'T BE A FOOL

The Habit of Fault Finding and Criticizing

If you've read a few of my blog posts already, you've probably noticed a pattern.

First, I come at you with a title that makes you question my character. Then I spend the next few minutes trying to convince you that I'm actually a reasonably decent and well-mannered human being.

Well unfortunately today will be no different. Although, as usual, I'm not the only culprit.

This time I'm partnering with Dale Carnegie and his annoyingly insightful book How to Win Friends and Influence People.

So before you send me an angry email explaining why I have no business calling people fools, kindly reserve a small portion of your outrage for him, because he's the one who said:

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do."

Ouch. I felt that too. But the man has a point. Because if we're being honest, criticizing people is embarrassingly easy. In fact, most of us could do it professionally with absolutely no training.

I mean, think about it sweetie,

your spouse leaves the cupboard door open, or your friend gains a few pounds, or your child spills juice on the floor, immediately, you transform into a world renowned critic.

Funny thing? criticism feels productive, useful and it feels like we're helping out but in reality it's the exact opposite.

Actually, hold that thought, I promise we'll get back to it in a bit.

Please explain this to me my love:

Why do people proudly display their certificates and trophies in their living rooms when, aesthetically speaking, they're doing absolutely nothing for the place?

And why do people casually mention that they graduated with distinction when nobody asked?

I promise I'm not being shady sweetie. I'm going somewhere with this, stay with me.

I'll tell you why.

Because human beings have a deep rooted, strong desire to feel important.

That's why your neighbour drives an extra-large, inconvenient to park SUV that consumes enough fuel to single-handedly keep the petroleum industry in business. I promise, I come in peace.

My point is simple:

The desire to feel important is deeply human. John Dewey puts it this way;

"The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important."

The truth is we all want to feel valued, to feel appreciated and to feel seen. No one likes being criticized, no matter how "constructive" it is.

And chances are the person you're criticizing already knows. What they may not know is how remarkable they are.

They may not know that you admire their resilience, or their generosity, or their loyalty, or their kindness, or maybe the way they keep showing up even when life is difficult.

Which is exactly why these beautifully decorated Hype-Up Papers exist.

Because if your lips are too used to criticizing, it might be difficult for them to suddenly shift into compliment and recognition mode. So instead of speaking, write it down. These Hype-Up papers are about intentionally sitting down and saying:

"This is what I admire about you," and "This is what makes you extraordinary."

They're about reminding people who they are when life has done an excellent job of reminding them who and what they are not.

Listen my love, the world already has plenty of critics. Trust me, the position has been completely filled.

But we are accepting applications for a different position.

For the person who notices the good and says it. The person who reminds people how amazing they are.

And if you don't know where to begin, start here sweetie;

Simply pick any Hype-Up Paper you like most, download it, print it, and list of the remarkable things you love about your partner, your mom, your friend, your sister, or whoever else comes to mind.

Remember, together we can make the world a slightly better place. I know, that was super cheesy, I felt it too.

ENOUGH SAID!

I'll catch you on the next one sweetie.