A Relationship Check-In

Welcome in sweetie. This won't take long.

Life is busy. You have a lot on your plate already, and loving your people well probably isn't at the top of the to-do list at the moment.

That's what this little check-in is for — to bring the people you love back into focus.

Think of one person you love- it could be your partner, sister, your best friend, your mom or your child.

Got them?

Lovely. Let's see how you've been showing up for them lately and where you need to do a little better.

And by the way please don't overthink this sweetie. Just choose what feels most true for your relationship right now.

Ready? Let's do this. For each question choose between one of this:

○ We're strong here
○ Could be better
○ This needs attention

When I hurt this person, do I own it and try to make things right, without rushing to explain myself or defend myself?

○ We're strong here
○ Could be better
○ This needs attention

Did you mark “Could be better” or “This needs attention”?
You don't need to become perfect at apologising. You might just need to understand what makes repair actually work. And the Apology Vault is the perfect place to start.

ENTER THE APOLOGY VAULT

1. APOLOGY & REPAIR

Do I still notice and appreciate what this person does, or have some of their efforts quietly become things I simply expect?

○ We're strong here
○ Could be better
○ This needs attention

Did you mark “Could be better” or “This needs attention”?
Learn how to start being grateful again. The Gratitude Vault is a great place to start.

ENTER THE GRATITUDE VAULT

2. GRATITUDE & APPRECIATION

Does this person regularly experience my love and affection, or am I mostly relying on “they already know”?

○ We're strong here
○ Could be better
○ This needs attention

Marked “Could be better” or “This needs attention”?
Learn how to express love and affection more visibly. The Love and Affection Vault is a great place to start.

ENTER THE AFFECTION VAULT

3. LOVE & AFFECTION

When I notice something good about this person — their character, effort, growth or the little things I love about them — do I actually tell them?

○ We're strong here
○ Could be better
○ This needs attention

Marked “Could be better” or “This needs attention”?
The good you see in someone shouldn't have to stay in your head. Learn how to affirm and compliment your people out loud.

ENTER THE AFFIRMATION VAULT

4. AFFIRMATION & COMPLIMENTS

Do I make their wins feel worth celebrating — even the small ones that might not mean much to anyone else?

○ We're strong here
○ Could be better
○ This needs attention

Marked “Could be better” or “This needs attention”?

Let's get better at making a fuss about the good things happening in their lives. The Celebration Vault is a great place to start.

ENTER THE CELEBRATION VAULT

5. CELEBRATION & CONGRATULATIONS

When life gets heavy for this person, do I know how to be there without immediately fixing, advising or brushing past what they're feeling?

○ We're strong here
○ Could be better
○ This needs attention

Marked “Could be better” or “This needs attention”?
You don't always need the perfect words or a solution. Sometimes you just need to learn how to be there well. The Comfort Vault is the perfect place to start.

ENTER THE COMFORT VAULT

6. COMFORT & ENCOURAGEMENT

Before you go sweetie...

I know you noticed something today — an Anchor, or maybe two, that could use a little more attention.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Take it as information. Now you know where you can love this person a little more intentionally.

And sweetie, don't stop with this one relationship. Come back and do this Check-In with another relationship that matters to you too. You might be surprised by what you notice.

You probably noticed that each of the Six Anchors has its own Vault filled with thoughtful reads, practical ideas and tools to help you get better at that particular relational habit.

Start with the Anchor that stood out to you today.

EXPLORE THE SIX ANCHORS